However, there are a few things which are guaranteed to cause offence and should be avoided when possible.

The Monarchy

Thai people think very highly of the royal family and will not permit criticism. In fact, Thailand’s lèse majesté laws mean that criticising the king can result in 7 years imprisonment, which applies to both Thais and foreigners. Pictures of the king should also be treated with respect and if placed on the wall – as they are in most homes and businesses – must hold pride of place. Defiling a picture of the king also carries a serious penalty, as a tourist in Chiang Mai discovered when he drunkenly drew a moustache on an image of the king. He was sentenced to 50 years imprisonment, but was later pardoned by the king and released.

Religion

Always dress ‘politely’ when entering a temple or religious shrine. Many temples require you to cover your knees and shoulders and it is very important to remember to remove your shoes. Shoes should also be removed when entering private homes and some shops.

Buddha Images

Buddha images are sacred and must be treated with respect. Never climb on a Buddha image, and be very careful about taking photos – some images are so sacred that photographs are forbidden. When sitting on the floor, you must be careful not to point your feet at a Buddha image. Sit with your legs crossed or with your feet tucked to the side, the soles pointing backwards.

Monks

Women must be careful not to touch monks as they are forbidden female contact. If a woman wants to give something to a monk it must first be given to another man or put on a piece of cloth. Often, special seats are allocated on public transport for monks only, be careful to avoid them and give up your seat for a monk if there are none available.
Head and Feet

In Thailand, the head is very scared, whilst the feet are seen as unclean. Be careful not to touch a Thai on the head and avoid touching them with your feet or pointing to things with your feet.

Saving Face

In Thailand it is considered very impolite to shout and show of anger, regardless of the situation.

General

Showing affection between partners such as kissing and cuddling in public is frowned upon – especially amongst older Thais. Although it may not seem like it, Thailand is actually quite conservative and people do not appreciate seeing too much bare skin. Men should avoid walking topless as what are often mistaken for looks of appreciation are actually shares of disgust! Spaghetti tops, sleeveless tops and bottom revealing micro shorts should also be avoided.

Smoking and dropping litter in the street are illegal a 2,000 Baht fine awaits anyone who is caught.

Thailand consists of a total of 514,000 square kilometres, which is roughly the same size as France or about the twice the size of Wyoming in the USA. Located in Southeast Asia and bordering Laos, Myanmar, Cambodia and Malaysia, Thailand has a population of more than 65 million.

Thailand is a tropical country and the weather is typically hot and humid, with periodic rain during the monsoon season. Thailand has a variety of geographic regions – varying from mountainous regions, jungles, plains and plateaus, as well as a number of stunning beach areas and numerous islands.

There are 76 provinces in Thailand with Bangkok (krungthep) forming the capital. More than 10% of Thailand’s population live in Bangkok and around 60% of the country’s wealth is concentrated there.

Thailand is a constitutional monarchy with a long and interesting political history. The current monarch is His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej, who celebrated his 60^th year on the throne in 2006, making him the world’s longest reigning monarch. The King is highly revered within Thailand and respected throughout the world.

Thailand’s political history has proved rather turbulent, with an impressive total of 18 coups d’etat since 1932. However, not a single shot was fired during the last coup on September 19^th 2006, and Thailand is generally a safe and friendly place for visitors.

Despite the economic crash in 1997, which severely affected the country’s prosperity, Thailand now enjoys a booming economy once more. Thailand’s strong export growth allowed the economy to expand by 4.5% in 2007. Exports include computer technology, office machine parts, transistors, rubber, motor vehicles, plastic, seafood and rice.

Unlike Western boxing, in Muay Thai the hands, shins, elbows, and knees are all used extensively.

There are many strict rules governing public Muay Thai matches. For example, only boxing shorts are permitted to be worn, and the colour depends on which corner the fighter is in; red, pink, or maroon or with a red stripe for the red corner; blue, bright blue, black for the blue corner.

Both fighters perform the Wai Kru (paying respect to the teacher) before the start of the first round, and a special dance called Ram Muay (accompanied by the appropriate Thai traditional music.

A Muay Thai matches last for five rounds; 3 minutes per round with a 2 minute break between each round.

Muay Thai matches can be scene all over Thailand, especially in tourist areas, where small rings are often set up in go-go bars.

A great place to enjoy a match is Lumpini Stadium, where matches are generally of a very professional level.

Another uniquely Thai sport is takraw, which is very similar to volleyball except that it uses an odd looking rattan ball and players are allowed to touch the ball using their feet, knees, chest and head.

Groups of people (usually boys and young men) can be seen in the streets all over Thailand playing this highly addictive and entertaining sport. There are even murals at Wat Phra Kaew that show the Hindu god Hanuman playing takraw in a ring with a troop of monkeys.

All you need to play is a special rattan ball, a net and an area of roughly 13 m x 6 meters free from all obstacles.

Football is naturally very popular in Thailand and many people worship teams from the English Premier League such as Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal. Thailand also has it’s own Thai League.

And the extra costs incurred are serious too. For someone who works from home, the air conditioning has to be blaring all day long for any chance of entering a productive mindset. This extravagance lead to our electricity bill breaching 3,000 baht for April, and I cannot envisage it being reduced much in May

The only solution to the heat seems to be to try and embrace it slowly. Being in artificial cool all day doesn’t seem to help matters as you never truly grow accustomed to the prohibitive temperatures, and fry like a fish in a frying pan as soon as one step is placed outside the Samsung-induced sanctuary. But knowing what the right thing to do and actually doing it, are two very different things.

This deafening festival has its roots traced back in the mystical skies ruled by gods, as it is believed that the clouds and rain that heralds the start of the rice planting season will only come when said deities are in the mood for a little good lovin’.

And nothing gets the omnipotent rulers in the mood like a variety of explosions with the vapour trail and god height seen as a positive omen. The higher it goes, the more rain will fall on the northeast plateau bringing good fortune and a bumper rice harvest.

While the rockets compete, the crowd is entertained with comedy, often bawdy with a smattering of dirty jokes and raucous country music. It’s a genuine farming community excuse to have fun and get the planting season off to a good start. Accidents are few and far between, but as the beer and rice whisky flows, missiles may stutter, wobble or even do some low flying antics over the tents and entertainment stages.

This time last year was dubbed ‘the battle of Songkran’ after red shirt activists used the celebration to settle old scores and stir up trouble. Two people lost their lives in the mayhem and plenty more were injured. The good nature of the Thai people has never been drawn into question. But the motives of the UDD leadership certainly can be, as the only true beneficiary of the continued demonstrations is a living in exile with corruption charges hanging.

Twenty-one people have just lost their lives in order to get Thaksin back into power. What would realistically change for his supporters if he did? Very little. But Thaksin has 76 billion reasons for wanting the government to call an election, and that is indicative of why efforts to see him re-throned have not yet waned. Perhaps things can return to normal for just a short while and Songkran can heal old wounds, if only temporarily. There has been enough blood spilt this April already.

Tourists in Thailand during this period will have the time of their lives and the traditional April waterfight will be indelibly etched in their memories for years to come. In Bangkok, the Songkran Grand Celebration is being held around “Old Bangkok” or the around the Rattanakosin Island district from April 10 to 15 April.

The capital’s main celebrations focus on the bathing rites of revered Buddha image replicas coming from the different provinces in the north, east and south of the country. Phra Chetupon Wimol Manklaram (Temple of the Reclining Buddha) will host the important opening celebration next week and then the party will spread to the four corners of the city.

Ayutthaya is having a massive festival in the Old City while Chon Buri, Suphan Buri and Chiang Mai all have massive events planned including food, drink, music and of course plenty of water being hurled around. Phuket and Koh Samui are also great places to get into the swing of things with plenty of tourist-orientated events being planned.

The event opened with a blessing ceremony where monks sprinkle holy water over players and animals to help ensure a successful and healthy tournament. There was also a parade of traditional northern dancers and hill-tribe villagers dressed up in costume. Elephant spirit men (Khru Ba Yai), decorated pachyderms with colourful patterns and the teams held up their national flags.

The tournament was not originally held in the Golden Triangle, but was first introduced to Thailand in the Royal town of Hua Hin just south of Bangkok. But in 2001 Anantara Resorts took over the event and transformed it into it’s present charitable guise which raises cash for the Kingdom’s National Elephant Institute in Lampang.

And everyone who chose to travel to this year’s event was certain it would continue to go from strength to strength with a dozen teams comprising 40 players from 15 countries in four continents demonstrating in what high regard it is held.

The event featured three music stages at the Bali Hai pier at the main bay’s southern end, central Pattaya, and Pattaya Soi 4. Music themes rotated between all three stages with hip hop, rnb, rock and pop featuring heavily. The event was also supposed to promote the Tourism Authority of Thailand campaign “Amazing Thailand Amazing Value” to demonstrate that travellers to the Kingdom get brilliant value for their dollar, euro or pound.

Music lovers have enhanced the appeal of Pattaya in their holiday destination choice with future events promising to be even bolder and brasher. Famous music companies such as GMM Grammy, Modernine TV, Channel [V] Thailand and Channel [V] International helped organise the event.

Visitors enjoyed contemporary songs at the Bali Hai, the best in rock music at central Pattaya and some tremendous easy listening at Soi 4 on Friday. Then the next day there was more of the same at the Bali Hai stage, with hip-hop taking overt central Pattaya, plus sultry Jazz at Soi 4.

For throwing 1,000 litres of blood at Government House is an act so bizarre that even Caligula would have pondered the point. And news that the Nursing and Midwifery Council  could punish nurses who aid in the collection of said crimson weaponry, only makes the cloudy issue murkier.

For is it better to enlist trained medical personnel to assist in a barbaric act and have it administered safely? Or refuse to help and have an army of oozing self-mutilators wandering the capital feeling distinctly light-headed?

It is a question that should surely never be asked in a developed country. In these modern times of AIDS and blood shortages you would imagine more people would think for themselves and abstain from such foolhardy action. But the passion of the red shirts in undeniable, and if it did not raise eyebrows there would be no point. Red paint would create fewer column inches and not be the action of a truly incensed mob.

But should this action actually have the desired effect and Abhisit quits his post as PM, heaven forbid what bodily fluids the yellow shirts are going to fling in response..