Thais: oxymorons

Posted by admin on July 30th, 2007 filed in Living here, People, Politics, Understanding Thais

Before we get stuck into some of the details of Thai behaviour, I’ve decided to give you a summary of ‘how Thai’s really are’. Often I’ve been asked by travellers, relatives, friends abroad and others what it’s like living among Thai people. Well, the obvious answer to that it’s a land of smiles. We’ve all heard how famous the people of this country are for being friendly, welcoming and easy-going and it’s true.

I really can’t think of another nation of people who are quite as warm and receptive of their guests, this is perhaps one of the most important characteristics of the country and an important selling point for Thailand. So what’s the catch? This is a question I asked myself before I came here. So many people spoke so glowingly about the Thais that I became suspicious and began probing people on the forums about any shortcomings I should be aware of. I was later to discover that one explanation of this reticence is that criticism simply isn’t something that is brought up in Thailand, and even ex-pats who’ve been here awhile learn this (though some become perpetual complainers).

It is linked into the Buddhist teaching of keeping a positive mind and I’ll discuss it more in another posting. But some cryptic comments did surface. “You’ll never manage to understand a Thai” they said, and “it’s all east versus west”. Others warned that your assimilation into Thailand goes through several phases, starting with the ‘rose tinted glasses’, followed by a period of ‘dissatisfaction with everything and overwhelming negativity’ finally ending with acceptance.

This certainly is true, though I still go through periods of exasperation where all I can do is find fault with this society and wonder what I’m doing here. Then, all of the sudden the sun bursts out of the clouds and I notice all around me the wonderful aspects I have forgotten. The lovely smiling waitress, the guy who said ‘mai pen rai’ (never mind) and offered to buy me a drink after I had accidentally knocked his over, or the tyre mechanic who dropped everything to help me with a puncture and asked for only 40 baht (1$) after nearly an hour of his time.

So, if you asked me to sum it all up I will describe the Thai as oxymorons: contradictory people who are exceptionally good at some things, but inexplicably poor at other similar traits. If this might confuse you, I’ll briefly elaborate before we move on.

Anyone who has met a Thai person will note that they are almost always polite and respectful of others, the society demands this of them. If you are older they will offer you a wai and speak with formal language. They will instinctively appear non-aggressive or confrontational, and observe some distinct behaviour protocols aimed at being considerate, obedient and avoiding loss of face. However, put a Thai behind the wheel of a motor vehicle and this invariable disappears. Here in Thailand you can experience some of the worst driving in the world. Drivers here will barge their way in the traffic and try to jump queues, they’ll run red lights or speed up on amber ones. They’ll park their car in the middle of a busy lane in rush hour traffic to quickly nip into the 7-eleven, or veer across four lanes to make a sudden thoughtless turn. Motorcyclists ride their bikes on pavements or the wrong way up a busy road, or drive recklessly – dogging cars on busy highways. You can routinely experience vehicles overtaking on blind corners, turning in the face of oncoming traffic, pulling out in front of fast approaching vehicles and forcing motorcyclists off the road. For such a patient and passive group of people it really is astonishing. Perhaps this is because they can remain anonymous behind tinted windows or feel they are no longer bound by any ‘society rules’ once inside a car. I really don’t know why but it is one of the most deplorable aspects of behaviour here and certainly at odds with their otherwise agreeable nature.